Do you still have your period?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize