just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
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She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
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The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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