I showed him my bush... on skype.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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