Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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