i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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