So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize