I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize