we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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