I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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