u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize