he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
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i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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