I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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