Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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