please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize