it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
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I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
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he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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