Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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