If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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