im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
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My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
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I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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