You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
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