my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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