Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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