She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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