so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize