Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Actions speak louder than pants.
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He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
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but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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