i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize