mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize