My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize