I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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