What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize