She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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