I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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