my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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