i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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