the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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