Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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