Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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