I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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