mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize