VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
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Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
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I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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