I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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