that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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