Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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