Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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