he shaved USA in his pubs
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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