i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
we're making bets on your personal life
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize