What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize