garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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