im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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