You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize