I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
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Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
They took my balls.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
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new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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